The bizarre list

Some friends and I were recently discussing the bizarre things that sometimes happen...and the absolutely stupid stuff we've done. It brought back some "fond" memories.


A few...


I have broken my arm in 4 places...at one time...playing kickball. If anybody out there knows an Anthony Willoughby, I still owe him an apology.


I have been in two hurricanes.


I have been in Florida when the entire state was trying to go up in flames...fire on 3 sides, ocean on the fourth.


I left a casino in the Bahamas moments before armed, masked, gunmen robbed the place. Tell me...wouldn't you notice men in ski masks on a tropical island? And where do you go on an island after a robbery?(Going on vacation with me might prove hazardous)


I have driven the wrong way down a one way street...on purpose. In that same line of thought, I have helped repossess cars. I worked several years with a private investigator. This allows for several other bizarre stories...including the transvestite hooker with an automatic weapon in her/his bra. Applying for a job as a stripper and repeatedly being made to look like a hooker.


I've been in a car that backed through the drive-thru at McDonald's...more than once.


I've passed a bottle opener to someone in another car...while they were both speeding down the freeway.


I used to paddle out into the Ohio River to ride the waves from the barges as they passed. I'm still amazed as much time as I spent in that river that I don't glow in the dark.


I grew up in a haunted house. People tend to be fascinated and/or dubious when I talk it. It wasn't anything special...built in the mid to late 60's in Valley Station. As far as we know not on any type of burial ground nor had anything violent occurred there. People ask. The thing about it, no one that ever entered that house would deny that it was haunted. From one particularly cold bedroom to whispers and footsteps in the hall. There was frequently the feeling of being watched. Mom blamed Dad for messing the bed up in the guest room...until it continued even when Dad was in the hospital. Most of it was benign. I only remember a few times that I felt frightened by it. Not the case with our neighbor who refused to enter the house after dark when we weren't home. We also had a poodle that would suddenly come running down the hall trembling all over.


I've gotten lost hiking...fortunately I do my hiking locally. It only took an hour or so to find something recognizable. I've also gotten lost in a cornfield, something my husband finds utterly amazing for the stupidity of it.


I've been chased by a bull...and subsequently jumped an electric fence. In the same summer, while in the "country"...I tried to ride a cow, something I don't recommend. And my cousins convinced me that mama pigs like it when you pick up the babies...go ahead, try it sometime.


I've been thrown by a horse. Actually thrown may not be the right term since the horse didn't throw me. It was more like he flipped over backwards with me still on. We ended up on the ground with me on the bottom, trapped between him, the ground and a chain link fence. I still ride every chance I get.


I've had two black eyes...both of them from toddlers.


I've been shot in the back with a staple gun....and shot in the butt with a BB gun. I've been hit the head with a mallet at a haunted house during one of the Ghost Runs...I still hate haunted houses. I've been shot with a sling shot from 150 feet with a fist sized clump of frozen jello...come on admit it, can anybody else say that?