Dreams

I have had some bizarre dreams recently. Some of which I would only share with close friends. Some of which I'll keep to myself. I am not sure what has produced such vivid dreaming. I am grateful for the sleep.

Last nights dream stuck with me through the day. This is another aspect of these dreams, they don't shred like gossamer at the sound of the alarm. In the dream I was being interviewed. They had asked me a long list of questions. I'm not sure why I was being interviewed. The questions were not job related nor were they subject related. A lot of interests, beliefs, thoughts, etc were covered. Some were very intrusive, but did not bother me in the dream. I answered all of the questions honestly...and without a hint of sarcasm or wit. Not me at all. Now that I think about it, it was like I was in a trance. Eventually, the interviewer struck on the subject of religion. I explained my beliefs and dis-beliefs. But for the first time in the interview, he was accepting of my answer. He wanted a word. I told him I could not give him one. I am not Christian or any other religious affiliation. I am not agnostic or atheist. He pointed out that I kept telling him what I was not. He wanted to know what I was...in one word. I sat staring at him for a long time and finally said, I am...

wishful.

Wishful? He asks, looking somewhat skeptical of the answer I have finally settled on.

Yes, I tell him.

I am wishful.

Wishful for happiness.
Wishful for peace.
Wishful for love.
Wishful for understanding.

The list went on.

And, finally, I tell him, I am wishful for there to be a higher being than us all. Someone with a plan. Someone that knows the why for all the pain and suffering and the trials and tribulations. Someone to make it all worthwhile. So he asks, if I wanted there to be a God, why didn't I believe in one? I told him I wanted unicorns too.

Then the alarm went off.

Silence is...best.

There was one of those uncomfortable conversations around the lunch table today. Basically, several people were discussing raising their children. One said she was raising her children Catholic. One said she was raising her kids Christian. The third said it was only important that children were given religious guidance, no matter what religion the parent's practiced. I, being the fourth person in the room, ate and kept quiet. It's funny, but it seems most people will accept that you are a different religion, but not if your are no religion. From their conversation I gathered that it would be impossible for me to have raised my children in an approved, appropriate, manner. I don't need your approval...and my children are just fine. Want to know what happens with kids without a religious upbringing?

They are told that people believe a lot of different things...and that's okay.
They are told that they need to decide what they believe...and that's okay.
They are told that there is right and wrong.
They are told there are consequences for their actions.

So what is different about the way I taught my children? My sons were introduced to lots of ideas. They were taught it was okay to question even my beliefs...to explore, to seek, to find...or not. They were taught that their actions could be harmful to others...and to themselves. They were taught some behavior was preferable and others forbidden. Their consequences were much more immediate than Heaven or Hell. There was no boogie man devil; just Mom and Dad, and God forbid, the police. Personally, I think that is a concept much easier for the child to grasp than the fire and brimstone of Hell. But, hey, that's just my opinion...kept to myself. I just kept eating.

Where is Heaven?

I heard a commercial this morning on the radio, in which, the joke was the residents of Heaven kept losing items as they fell through the clouds.

We all know from an early age that Heaven is up. But up where? 

How often have you seen a depiction of Heaven in the clouds? I am sure before exploration took us above the clouds, that many people did, indeed, consider Heaven to be so close at hand. Well, having flown through and above the clouds, I assure you, as beautiful as it is, there is no Heaven to be found there.

The Bible is of very little help in locating Heaven...as apparently, according to some experts, there are three. There is the heavens of the Earth, our atmosphere; the heavens of outer space, where the planets reside; and the Heaven, capital H, where God resides. So Heaven is far away, in a place beyond our science...or is Heaven in another plane of existence altogether?

And if I look up to the heavens and wonder, I have to look down and wonder too...as we all know what is down as well as up.

But I find this even more confusing than searching the sky for Heaven because down is so limited. The mental image I always had was that Hell was inside the core of the Earth, as there is no place else down. And the Bible seems to confirm this idea. Now, I'm not an expert on anything, but it seems to me that our Earth has been studied and probed enough that science would have found Hell by now. Unless, of course, it too, is in some alternate universe at the core of the Earth.


I am not a big believer in Heaven or Hell, so why am I looking for them? I like to examine my beliefs every now and again, just to make sure I don't need to change what I think. It has happened. I learn. I get smarter. I challenge my logic. I do not believe, or doubt, blindly, but enlightened and informed. I can tell you more about religion than many believers. Some people say that faith is blind. I guess if that is the case, I'll never be among the faithful. I would love to find comfort there...but not until I can make sense of it.

Things I know

I identify myself as agnostic, but will admit that I am not atheist only because it takes too much commitment. I really am not an always/never sort of person. I am more...maybe. This being said, I was surprised recently to be standing with a group of people that I am sure would all identify themselves as Christian, and I am the only one that could quote a Bible verse off the top of my head...or at least a close approximation of one.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, so that those who believeth in him would not perish, but would have everlasting life. John 3:16

I was told, once upon a time, that it was the most important verse in the Bible. Kind of sums up the whole thing.

I'm going to rant now

How freaking stupid are people? The limitless ability of some individuals to behave in a moronic fashion never ceases to amaze me...nor do some individuals ability to manipulate others or lack of thought in making choices. 


What has my ire up?


A news story. I swear I need to quit watching the news.


The Supreme Court ruled today that the protesters at military funerals were protected under the First Amendment. I won't argue that. I don't agree with their actions in no way, shape or form...it seems to me to be inappropriate and hurtful when families are at their lowest point...but in this country we have the right of free speech. Many a soldier has died defending that right. 


If you've missed this...


Westboro Baptist Church members have been protesting at soldier's funerals. The news reports show members of the church holding signs reading, "Thank God for dead soldiers" "You're Going to Hell" and "God Hates the USA/Thank God for 9/11". 


Reportedly, the church believes God is punishing the military for the nation's tolerance of homosexuality.


I can't quite make the connection between being anti-gay and protesting and disrupting a funeral. Or even the connection between homosexuality and the military in an era of don't ask don't tell. They aren't protesting at gay soldier's funerals. I don't understand their leap in logic here. And personally, I can't imagine worshiping a God that would kill soldiers because of government policies. Why kill the soldiers if you could just take out the chiefs? None of it makes sense to me. Or why would an omnipotent God kill a straight soldier to punish homosexuality? Isn't that a little counter productive? These people just look crazy to me. I guess that explains their lack of empathy.


If God is into punishing individuals for the beliefs of the greater organization...I worry for their children.

Belief

I long ago decided that I did not believe in religion. Religion not being the same as God. Religion is man-made, and therefore fallible. Religion is often twisted and turned to suit the agenda of a group or individual...if it were not so, wouldn't there only be ONE religion for each deity?

There was a time that I had a very strong faith. I felt His presence in my life. I even went in search of a religion that would give me a stronger foundation in my beliefs. I very much admire people that make choices about their beliefs...and life. I was unsuccessful. I could find more things I disagreed with, than what felt right.

I have for some time now identified myself as agnostic...as I tend not to be a never/always kind of person. I can't say that there is no God, but He is not a part of my life. I envy people that find such joy, but I  find no comfort there. I have come to a point in my life now, where I ask myself serious questions. Questions many people, it seems, would never dare contemplate...especially out loud. Why? Fear. Fear of retribution from a wrathful God. Fear of condemnation by family and friends...or religious zealots. There are few people more dangerous than those that claim a close personal relationship with their God. I do not want to embrace something out of fear. I would rather embrace a loving God. One that realizes that I am human and imperfect and would forgive me my questions and doubts as long as I have tried to live a good life. Personally, questioning is a sign of intelligence. I would think MY God would appreciate that in his children.

Prayer

I am not a religious person. I do not find comfort there. But I respect your beliefs...whatever they may be. I define religion separately from the belief of a higher power. I have my doubts about there being an all powerful being, but I won't go into the lack of logic/blind faith, how could God/free will arguments here. Religion on the other hand, is a man made business just like any other. They have a product to sell. And don't even have to prove it exists. Not my point. My topic today as the title may have clued you in, is prayer. Something I don't, under the circumstances, normally find myself doing much. But there was a time when I had a very strong faith and found myself giving much consideration to prayer. I considered it, because I often found myself annoyed by others lack of consideration. Yes, we all make statements like, "Pray for good weather." But it isn't an actual request. When I was in college, there was a group that would get together and pray for good scores. I mean come on...if you are going to bend the ear of an all mighty being and you truly believe he is listening...you're going to ask for a B on your mid-term? I figure I might get one chance in a lifetime to have a prayer answered and I sure don't want it to be to pass an exam.

I came to the conclusion, a long time ago, that people that believe in God don't give him enough credit. If he is all powerful, all knowing, then doesn't he know what's best? So why don't more people pray for the ability to understand him? When I prayed, I always asked for the strength to bear what path God chose for me...that is true faith.

Lessons from a non-believer...feel free to ignore.

Being different

Ever notice how often people claim they are "different"? I notice this statement of individuality frequently. Each individual thinking they are different from the other...what? Ever wonder how they got different, or what makes them different? After all it seems our society is set up to make us all carbon copies. Schools, political parties, even religion teaches like mindedness. Isn't one of the things we seek out in other individuals is that they think like we do?

The fashion industry spends fortunes to assure that we all look alike. Styles change and we're supposed to keep up. There isn't much choice. If you want to buy anything, your choices are limited by what some person has deemed fashionable at this particular moment.

If you want to be different you have to reach out there, outside of societal norms. You have to THINK different to be different, eventually this will effect the way you look so you'll look different. Then guess what will happen when you finally reach differentness? You'll be criticized!

Don't believe me...


Dress unusual. I mean really unusual. Remember the last time you were at the mall and saw the really strange kid in the really bizarre clothes? Remember the feeling of superiority? Did his/her differentness make you uncomfortable?

Tell people you're atheist. For a country built on the idea of religious freedom...this isn't an acceptable option. You aren't allowed to not believe in God like everybody else. It makes you too different.

Speak radical ideas. Remember freedom of speech? It used to be a right in this country. Not any more, now everyone is "politically correct"...so much for being different. Yes, like everybody else I like to think I'm different. Just a little odd. A touch left of normal. Maybe the only difference in me is the realization that I'm really not.