Thanksgiving

Let's get this out of the way...I hate Thanksgiving. The holiday and what it represents, or more accurately, I guess, the expectation that comes along for a ride. There will be no large gathering of family for me. I don't have a family left...no parents, grandparents or siblings. I have a few maternal aunts and uncles that I have never had much attachment to. That seems to be a relationship better bonded in childhood...they weren't there. I have one uncle from my Dad's side, Sammy, that I loved as a kid. He now lives in Florida. He's elderly. I call him when people, my parents, die. I wonder who will call me when he dies?

On to brighter subjects.

Today I will have my husband and our two sons. I need to find joy in the fact that I have the three of them. The family I made. I have been married almost 30 years...God, I am old. He has stuck it out through thick and thin and I'm not just talking about my weight. He is stubborn and determined to see me as a good person, despite all my flaws. My sons are still struggling to find their place in the world. Unlike many parents I am under no delusion that they are perfect. They make me angry, they make me sad, they make me laugh and they make me proud. I never expected perfect. I am happy to have them.

I am thankful for my job, despite how insane it drives me. It pays my bills, allows me to play and will hopefully afford me a return trip to Mexico in the Spring. I will have food on my table and a roof over my head.

I am thankful for friends, because of how insane they drive me. I am not sure what I did before them. Oh wait, that was the, "there's nothing to do" phase of my life. Now I am often upset because I can't possibly accommodate all the invitations. My friends are creative and enthusiastic about living. I am happy to have them.

My silver lining moment: While everyone else is rushing around trying to get everything just perfect (the house, the food, the clothes) and worried about who will spill wine on the carpet, knowing someones out of control kids will break something and that some people will show up way too early and others will be way too late...I will be having a relaxing day at home. I may even spend the day in my PJ's, my house, my prerogative. No kids. No complaints. Everyone...kiss the cook.