A few thoughts on some of my observances...
Some people hold on to pain. They wrap it around themselves like some kind of security blanket. I guess if you're always hurting it makes it harder to get hurt again. I see examples of this all the time. Today it was the car in front of me in traffic. On the back window of the car was a large decal "In memory of..." a young child that barely made it past their second birthday. Losing a child has to be one of the most devastating things in the world. Why would you want to be reminded everyday? No, I don't think you ever forget...but I think that big decal would be like ripping the bandage off over and over, every single day, again and again. Why? And once you applied the decal, how do you take it off without guilt? I prefer to take my pain, wrap it up, stuff it into a box and secure the lid as tightly as possible, then place it way in the back on a very high shelf in the mental closet. Yes, the box occasionally tumbles down, the lid pops off and I have to clean up the emotional mess...but then I stuff it right back in it's previous location. My mother used to tell me I was a cold hearted bitch. I've been described as stoic. I suspect, maybe just a bit crazy and dealing the best way I know how.
Laughing and joking, can be a cover for hatefulness. I am an expert at this one. I have said many times, I can say almost anything as long as I smile, laugh and nod my head. I am usually not being hateful...honestly. I am usually just being sarcastic about a bad situation. A little sugar to make the medicine go down. But I have seen this same mechanism used for much darker means and maybe because I recognized it for exactly what it was, it's made me a little leery of a particular individual.
People have motives for their behavior. I have long prescribed to this theory. Someone will repeat a behavior that gains them something they want. Whining is one of the behaviors that proves this theory. My kids did not whine, they tried it, but it gained them nothing...except me absolutely ignoring them. I have met many adults that still think whining will gain them something. Yes, I will ignore you. The same for baby talking. And crying. There is a difference between someone in pain and the person trying to manipulate you with tears streaming down their face.
People will throw you under the bus...in a heartbeat. Won't anybody stand up for the truth? Apparently not. And it seems, there must always be a person to blame...and who is that person? Well obviously not anybody in the room. It's always their fault...not ours, not the situation. Lay blame outside the door. It's easier to ignore and the mess isn't so hard to clean up...on your side. I've even been thrown under the big tires of the fast moving, did anybody get that license number...
by a friend.
Seems it was easier to blame me for all the ills of her life...and even someone else's behavior than deal with the mess.
Clean up in isle 8.
Good-bye friendship.
Round 1.
Later, there was a round 2.
No round 3.
That is one of those boxes the lid keeps coming off of.
Maybe because I still have the decal.
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