I am so proud

It did not occur to me until today how proud I am of my son. His son was born this past weekend. He is not married, he isn't even dating the Mom...they tried, it just wasn't meant to be. But he stepped up. He never denied the baby, he didn't walk away. He has been an active participant in her pregnancy. Going to doctor visits and birthing classes. He stood by her side through 10 hours of labor. He held her hand through contractions, he got her ice...he talked to her belly. He cut the cord. He whispered, "I love you" to his son. He stayed at the hospital with them for 4 days while they ran tests to make sure the baby was okay. Last night he stood in my living room talking about sterilizing bottles, umbilical and circumcision care and I wondered, who are you? This is not my reckless son, instead I saw a very proud Dad...a man. I hope this is the beginning of wonderful things for him.

Life changes

I am not always the biggest fan of change. I especially don't like it when I have no control over it. Yesterday, my first grandchild was born. I am unsure how I feel about this...not that I can change any of it. 

This is scary stuff. 

Beware an annoyed, sleep deprived, Momma

I was awoke this morning, at 4AM, by my son raiding the kitchen cabinets. I'd already had a rough night getting to sleep, and now I had to do it all over again...just to get up in a hour and a half.

As I related this story to a co-worker, I pointed out that he was over 18, so beating him with a stick technically would not be child abuse. She suggested domestic violence. Nope, I replied, he doesn't live with me. She laughs. Well, you can't just beat your son, she quips. There would be some law...

So I explain, I'm woke in the middle of the night by someone rummaging through my home. I'm in a medication induced haze, therefore confused. No court in the country would convict me for protecting myself, home and family.

Her reply...your son should be scared.

Snooze

I have never had an issue with getting up in the morning. Now, don’t misunderstand, I grumble and complain. But when the alarm clock goes off, I’m up and running…well at least stumbling. I have never, ever, used a snooze button. The whole concept escapes me. I have heard people say they set their alarm clock earlier, so that they can hit snooze. The theory, it seems, is a much gentler transition from sleep. I hate, HATE, an alarm clock, so I don’t want to hear it more than once. And how much more sleep are you getting?

The reason for this observation, is something, a joke of sorts, I guess, that I read. It was a list of “fixes” to everyday problems. One of which was...

Place a mousetrap on top of your alarm clock, and you’ll never have to worry about falling back to sleep after hitting the snooze button.

I found that immensely amusing for some strange reason.

Almost made it

I kept the tears at bay yesterday. I did really well. Until I went to bed. My mind wandered in and out and it suddenly dawned on me how really alone I am. There was nobody but me to mourn my Dad. Nobody that remembered. Nobody that cared. Nobody but me.

Some days just smack you in the face

I wrote the date this morning.

9/14/10

It immediately dawned on me...tomorrow will be the 4 year anniversary of my father's death. I went to the bathroom and gathered myself. Not only do I get the anniversary...I get the day before too.

I came home this afternoon and turned on the news. They were talking about the record breaking wind storm Louisville suffered two years ago. Jeez, thanks. That storm prevented us from celebrating my mother's last Christmas. Yes, in September. She knew she was never going to make it until December. She wanted one last Christmas. A tree was decorated, gifts were bought, a meal was planned. The storm tore through Louisville knocking down trees and electricity...it was weeks before the debris was cleared. Mom never felt good enough to reschedule her Christmas. She died 3 weeks later.

Yep, today has sucked.

Insight

I was driving down the road one recent morning when I noticed a guy walking down the sidewalk wearing a hoodie. I noticed this guy for several reasons, the hoodie had a design that I liked and it was bit too warm to be wearing it. On closer viewing, I noticed the guy seemed to be having a rather animated conversation with himself. As I drove past, I remarked, out loud, that I thought it was a little early in the season for a hoodie and weird to be talking to yourself as you walk down the sidewalk.

Of course, I was alone in my car...but it's okay to talk to yourself in the car. Besides I wasn't wearing a hoodie in 80+ degree weather.

Theme

I was told that a blog should have a theme. By having a theme...cooking, sewing, gardening, movies, books, aliens from the future, past or Alpha Centauri, people know if they want to read it. Common interests kind of crap.

First thought: How limiting. Second thought: I don't know enough about one thing to write about it day in and day out. Final conclusion: My blog has a theme...me. It's about whatever I want it to be about. It's about my thought, my feelings, my flights of fancy. So there...problem solved, I have a theme. One I know intimately. Is it interesting enough for people to follow...I do. So there, me and myself have something in common.

Knowing

When was the last time you knew exactly what you were doing?

I remember a time when I assured someone that I knew exactly what I was doing. In hindsight, I realize how wrong I was.

Of course a lot of things change in hindsight. It is easy to look back and second guess those moments in life. You only knew, what you knew, at that precise moment. And lots of things get in the way. But is it so terribly hard to know what you are doing? How about what you want? Or where you are going? Not in the day to day sense, but in the big picture kind of way. Do most of us just aimlessly wander about, randomly bumping into each other? Do your goals go beyond getting through this day, week, month?

Ever wonder...

about the erectile dysfunction (ED) commercial when they state, if you have an erection that lasts longer than four hours to seek immediate medical attention.


I did. So I asked a doctor I knew. He didn't know. So I asked a few more, all confused...about the treatment or by my curiosity. Knowing anatomy as well as I do (Points to self---nurse), I couldn't imagine any treatment that was going to be less than miserable. If for no other reason than sheer embarrassment.


This medical condition is called priapism. It occurs outside of the use of ED medications and from what I have heard is very painful.


According to my.clevelandclinic.org the treatment options, once you find a doctor that knows what to do, include...

• Ice packs: Ice applied to the penis and perineum may reduce swelling.
• Surgical ligation: Used in cases where an artery has been ruptured, the doctor will ligate (tie off) the artery that is causing the priapism in order to restore normal blood flow.
• Intracavernous injection: Used for low-flow priapism, during this treatment drugs known as alpha-agonists are injected into the penis that cause the veins to narrow reducing blood flow to the penis causing the swelling to subside.
• Surgical shunt: Also used for low-flow priapism, a shunt is a passageway that is surgically inserted into the penis to divert the blood flow and allow circulation to return to normal.
• Aspiration: After numbing the penis, doctors will insert a needle and drain blood from the penis to reduce pressure and swelling.

That just makes me cringe. This is what happens when curious minds inquire. And aren't you glad I shared?

I will warn you, just in case you happen to be reading this cross-eyed because of inflammation in your nether region and you think you'll just grab an ice pack and save yourself embarrassment and further pain...this is a medical emergency and your future "potential" is at risk. The sooner you are treated, the better your odds of um...returning to your previous activity.

Now go wash your hands.

Creepy crawlies

Everything you know is potentially wrong. I have made that statement before…and I’ll probably make it again. I am amazed by how much information I know, that is incorrect. A lot of this came from our Mothers, who presumably got it from their Mothers…who just didn’t know any better. Catch your death of a cold? Maybe. Because you went out barefooted or with your hair wet? Absolutely not! Colds are caused by viruses…not damp hair, or cold drafts.

My most recent adventure into the land of things I knew all wrong was after a recent trip to Otter Creek and the subsequent misery of chiggers. After several days of absolutely itchy misery, and refusal to paint my body with clear nail polish…as my Mother’s remedy (and husband’s) would suggest, I went to the good old trusty world wide web looking for remedy and relief. This is when I discover that all I knew about chiggers was absolutely, positively wrong…w-r-o-n-g! And somewhat to my relief, as I never found the idea of suffocating bugs while embedded in my skin as a particularly pleasant idea. This resulting in dead bugs decaying just under my epidermis…not good, not pretty, not particularly hygienic. I am not going to go into all the disgusting details, but chiggers do not burrow under the skin, they bite and feed. Nasty as that is, I still find it preferable to digging, burrowing and dying bugs on my body. As a side note, if you interrupt feeding, they die, as they have this one and only opportunity…so I feel some satisfaction in that, as I scratch in misery.

Burn Bibles?

I have recently seen snippets about a Florida preacher planning to burn the Koran on September 11th, in some manner of commemoration/protest. I say snippets, as I seldom ever turn the TV on and this idea just seems too stupid to me to investigate further. Generally speaking, I am against the destruction, in any manner, of books. Though I have read a few that I wondered how they ever made it to bookshelves…but I am sure they found an audience somewhere. Books are a valuable commodity to me, even if I don’t like them or disagree with their philosophy. The Bible holds no special meaning for me, it is a book, full of wondrous stories of miracles. I keep my family Bible out of sentiment. I have never had the opportunity to read the Koran, and doubt I would understand it. But I respect people’s emotional attachment to them both…and the freedom this country was based on to allow everyone the right to their beliefs. I can’t help but wonder how the preacher feels about the Bible being burned. Essentially that is what he is condoning, the destruction of a religious manuscript. Different religion, same artifact. I also realize this country allows him the freedom to burn a book of his choosing. I hope the Muslim community will not lump us all together. Unfortunately, this type of behavior, will most affect those Muslims most like this Florida preacher…extremist, narrow minded and bigoted. If there is a God, of any race, shape, color or creed, may he protect us from these idiots.

Mortality

Living forever is not an option.

Living good...is.

My Late Summer Vacation