What not to wear

First, and foremost, I am no fashion expert. I dress plain and simple...and usually dark. Clothing styles seem too young or too old for my taste. I have a much longer list of things I won't wear than what will find it's way into my closet. But this is more about the crazy stuff that drives me insane.

Animals are not fashion accessories. I hate to see someone walking around with a pet slung across an arm like a furry handbag. Personally, I think this is a form of animal cruelty.

Undergarments are meant to go under clothing...and usually aren't meant to be seen. I'm no prude, and under the right circumstance, I'm fine with a sexy outfit. There is a big difference between sexy and tacky. My biggest pet peeve in this category would be printed or colored underwear under white pants/skirts.

Next, and last, at least for this entry...shoes, or more accurately sandals. Just because you buy a size 7, doesn't mean you wear a size 7 if your foot is hanging over the edges. Are you really that hung up on your shoe size?

You don't say

When you say, "I'm just doing it for their own good." Stop immediately! You're just making an excuse for being mean.

I win

Every now and then you just have to dig your heels in and insist on what you want. Sometimes, you might just get it. I seem to get my way more than the average bear, according to the reactions of my friends. If I don't like something I say so. If someone makes the grand mistake of asking what I want, I usually have a pretty good idea...and I shoot for the moon. If they want to negotiate, I have a little wiggle room. I don't scream and cuss...people tune you out when you do. They can discount you as crazy or irrational. I talk in a calm, moderated...some would say, unemotional (cold as ice) voice. I am logical in my disagreement with them. I will use their own words against them. Give me the opportunity to write a letter, where I can carefully chose my words and it will cut like a knife. I ask for what I want and tell them why they will give it to me. A simple phrase like, "I don't think so." can go along way. You'd be surprised at the reaction when they are expecting you to nod your head and just go along.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not an argumentative person. I am not arguing just for the sake of it. Many people would not believe this, but I am generally not aggressive. I have an extroverted personality and I say what I think, but I generally am not confrontational. I let little things slip by...maybe even a few moderate things. But when something big comes along, especially if I feel like I'm being taken advantage of...or God forbid, treat me like I am stupid, look out. I'm all in, claws and teeth, going for the throat...in a nice, calm, ice cold sort of way.

Screwed

I am not feeling witty or light hearted. I don't have any interesting observations. I am here to bitch, whine and complain. Not up to it? Then go away. Offended by language? Go away. Now.

I feel like the world is biting at my ass. Everywhere I turn it seems somebody is trying to fuck with me. And I'm tired of it. Just too much bullshit from too many sources all at one fucking time. Yes, I'm pissed. I have a right to be. Strange thing is, I'm too pissed to even muster up a good cry. I'm not sure I've been here before and I find it a little scary.

I'm tired of feeling like people are taking advantage of me. I'm tired of feeling used. I'm tired of people talking to me, excuse me, at me, like I'm stupid. I'm tired of being ripped off. I'm tired of dealing with other people's bullshit. I'm tired of being manipulated. I'm tired of people not living up to their word. I'm tired of the lies and broken promises. I'm tired of jumping through hoops just to have another one placed in front of me. I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired.

And none of this has anything to do with the people I love, friend or family. It's all external. For that I can be grateful.

Green vs germs?

I have, for a while, seen commercials comparing the benefits of using reusable sponges vs paper towels. That sponges can be used over and over, and therefore more environmentally friendly. Yes, I am aware that every commercial is biased towards the advertiser's product. But it does seem logical to me. Except I worry about the sponge being clean. So throw it in the dishwasher I hear. Antimicrobial, I hear. Okay, I'm convinced...but I still can't eat my sandwich off a sponge. So I buy pick-a-size paper towels.

So now I'm seeing adds for disposable bathroom hand towels. Why use the same hand towel over and over, if you can have a fresh clean one every time? So I'm using less paper towels in the kitchen so I can use them in the bathroom?

I realize that these products are being market to two different groups. Sponges for the environmentalist, perhaps even frugal types, and the clean bathroom hand towel towards the germaphobic, obsessive compulsive types or clean freaks. I am none of this, mostly. I am not as environmentally aware as I should be, nor am I constantly worried about germs (they're everywhere no matter how much you spend to eradicate them). But I find this contradiction somewhat annoying. That annoyance is piqued every time I see the hand towel commercial. But since I am not the target audience for either of these products, nobody really cares about what I think.

Decorating advice 101

Do not place a reflective material of any kind across from the toilet.

Seems logical huh? Basic common sense? You'd be surprised.

I ran into this recently (again) in a public restroom. A hand towel/garbage receptacle was placed on the wall directly across from where I sat contemplating my outlook on life. It's polished brass surface, giving me a golden, slightly skewed, reflection of myself. I found this somewhat disconcerting but had limited options on where to gaze. Okay, I guess some forgiveness may be allowed in public facilities. Limited space to accommodate the most needs of all individuals...and all that crap.

As I mentioned previously, this was not the first time I'd ran into this somewhat uncomfortable position. I once went into a friend's bathroom, only to find myself staring at a very clear reflection of myself in the mirrored shower door...mere inches from my knees. I sat there wishing I had not turned the lights on. Could anyone possibly find this...um, comfortable, normal, interesting? When I exited the bathroom, the friend asked how I liked that mirror. Apparently it had not been his doing, but he was used to the uncomfortable reaction of his friends.

I could see how this could happen actually. The desire for a full length mirror in the bathroom with no place to hang one. Spying mirrored shower doors at the local home store, thinking what a wonderful solution. Never realizing the placement in relation to other objects in the room until sometime after the installation. The manufacturer is not going to label their box with a warning. "Do not hang directly across from toilet causing friends and family embarrassment." or "Placement across from toilet may cause endless amusement to toddlers. Manufacturer not responsible for subsequent damage or future psychotherapy."

The eyes have it

I had surgery on my second eye yesterday. I now know the procedure is called phacoemulsification.  What a difference from the first eye two weeks ago! Surgery yesterday, driving today. Eyes open. Minimal pain...no, not pain, just pressure. Like a mild headache. No tearing. No running from the light like a vampire about to perm. 


The procedure itself was a little rougher. It seems none of the pre-op meds had much of an effect...except the numbing drops. Thank God for the numbing drops. I remember the procedure in it's entirety. Minimal pain, but immense pressure. I will admit that the procedure was less uncomfortable than the recovery of the first eye. It had to be the scratched cornea that caused all the discomfort.


So now, for the first time in my life, I see 20/20. I am, however, farsighted. I can not see clearly within about four feet. This will be a new experience all together. My solution to things I can't see...get closer, no longer works. It will take time to adjust.

Being different

I love working for a company that supports diversity in the work place. It's great to be different...as long as you are different the same way they are.

Alone

I have no fear of being alone. Perhaps because I have never been alone. Perhaps because I know the difference between alone and lonely. I have been lonely...I have lonely in a room crowded with people. That does not happen so often these days. The people I chose to surround myself with, would seldom leave me undisturbed long enough for my mind to drift down such a long, dark path. I seldom see glimpses of lonely now days. I think one must conquer the fear of lonely in order to be comfortably alone.