Gender

I have a friend, or three, that--I guess the common term is, cross dress. Though I am fairly certain that term is reserved for men that wear female clothing. Nary an eyebrow is raised when a woman dresses in men's clothing. I have, and still do, shop in the men's department. I have worn men's shirts, pants, shoes, socks--and risking TMI, underwear. One year on vacation, I discovered I had under packed, so I borrowed a pair of the husband's for the trip home. I loved his boxer briefs. No underwear creeping into places where underwear do not belong. I have looked for something similar--without the fly. The women's boxer briefs are NOT the same thing. I was surprised that my online searches led me to sites for Queer underwear. Again, the gender attitudes. If I am female and don't want lacy, up the butt crack underwear, I must be...oy. And the ones available, $30 a pair! I do not like them that much. Commando is easier and cheaper. There are times when I am shopping for something the women's department doesn't deem to be currently fashionable, but is apparently a staple in menswear. The only time I have had anyone mention anything to me, was a man at the shoe store, that asked, you know these are men's shoes, right? I asked him if men's feet were so different that the shoes were going to cause me a problem. He smartly wandered away. But that is the point! With very little (no insult intended) difference, our bodies are very similar. 2 arms, 2 legs, a torso. So why is clothing so strongly gender identified? Or, on a bigger scale, why is anything gender identified? Personally, I don't want pink tools--ok, maybe purple. It's my favorite color. But I would not pay more, just so my tools would look feminine. I actually prefer that they not. And god forbid! a pink or purple gun. I warned the guy at the gun shop not to put one on the counter. He said they were very popular--among the ladies. My granddaughter plays with the same toys as her brother. She has dolls, but that is not what she sees. She sees him with super heroes and villains. But, I keep waiting for a Disney princess to beat up a bad guy. We have bought Lego's in traditional and girly colors. The grandson pays no attention to the blocks being pink and purple. He's also been known to use a Lego flower as the top for his helicopter. I have found that gender is the hardest identity for us to break. In role playing games, people are fine with you being an ogre, but you better be the properly gender assigned ogre. I tried playing a male character once. Lion makeup and hair fluffed to the max, assuming the full mane would be an obvious indicator of the character's gender and yet everyone nicknamed the character, Mama Saar. Apparently, everyone just assumed I had held onto my big hair from previous decades.