December 31, 2011

New Year's Eve...I'm going to rant a bit.

New Year's Eve, seems the perfect time to get a few things off my mind. So I am going to sit here with my hardcore pumpkin spice coffee and do so.


The latest news on my mind, the Governor of Kentucky vetoed a merger between several local hospitals declaring that it was not in the public's best interest. I am not going to debate that point. Even I could see some problems in the proposed plan. This is also going to effect me directly as it may be the end of, or the saving of, my job. That fall out is yet to be seen. I am hoping for the best and expecting the worst because I like my job. There are a couple of things that annoy me, outside of the personal issue. One, this merger had publicly been in the works for months, many, many months, before the government stepped in. Time, money and resources wasted, at a time when money is already hard to come by. (Personally, I think Medicare will eventually bankrupt the system). I suspect there were other entities putting there fingers in the pie and stirring the pot because the merger was not in their best interest. Two, does the government have the right to step in and make this decision? The Governor stated that University Hospital falls under Public Trust (The public trust doctrine is the principal that certain resources are preserved for public use, and that the government is required to maintain them for the public's reasonable use.) Which lead me right up to my next grumble. If University Hospital is a public trust and the government is required to maintain it...why was it in such a dire situation requiring it to look to merger for financial assistance? Because believe me that is what this was all about. The Catholic run hospital system, CHI, has the money to put in. But along with their money comes their doctrine...no birth control. And that is where the government stepped in. So my next question would be, so what now? They stopped the merger but what are they going to do to save University Hospital? The public's best interest will not be served if the hospital closes. Oh, and by the way, if you think University is the only hospital giving indignant care in the city, let me sit down and laugh at you naivete...until I cry. I have been in a position to see the $$$ spent on care to the under and uninsured at other hospitals in town. So what does the future hold? My Magic 8 Ball replies, "Who the hell knows." I don't...I'm just waiting to see if I still have a job.


Wow, that felt good. I seem to have forgotten the other stuff I wanted to rant about...oh wait, there it is.


I went out to the mall yesterday. Yes, I know that was my first mistake. I spent a couple of hours wandering here and there with a mental list of a few items that I could, might, possibly, need if they were to materialize in the right size, shape, color and price range. (I came home empty handed). The mall was very crowded with, I suppose, post holiday bargain shoppers and people with Christmas money burning holes in their pockets...the exact things that had driven me to drive to the mall. So, there I am, aimlessly wandering through a sea of other aimless wanders. A situation that requires, actually begs for, manners. I had one person say, "Excuse me." as she passed between me and the item I was aimlessly staring at. ONE, in like two or three hours in a crowded mall! Believe me, there were many opportunities for people to pull out and polish their niceties. (Example: I stopped and picked up a shoe box dropped by an overburdened father. Overburdened by multiple small children, and apparently new shoes for them all. He had his hands full and, as I mentioned earlier, I did not.) So much for good will to men. People suck.


Ahhh, my chest feels definitely better. Good to unburden.


Now on to a few other things that need mentioning here on this last day of the year...


I love my friends. They make me happy. I have a good family, mostly non-biological. I am generally happy...only a few things weigh heavy on my mind. I have a job I really like and hope to hold onto. I am looking south, towards Mexico, again as the weather turns colder and friends that are willing to go with me. Actually, quite a few friends (11 currently) have popped up and said they'd like to go in 2013. I guess that is assuming the whole world ending thing isn't a problem. See, not everything is a gripe.


Lastly, my birthday is quickly approaching. I'm getting old, maybe I shouldn't have said, lastly. In 6 days, on the 6th, I get a 0 on my birthday. Zeroes only come around once a decade (like the other numbers, shhhh) and need to be treated with dignity and respect...so I'm getting a masquerade party! An excuse to dress up outrageously...have I mentioned I love my friends?


And lastly, I didn't want that lastly attached to my birthday to be last...my blog, my rules. Life is not going to change tomorrow just because we all bought new calendars...get over it. Celebrate anyway. Make resolutions that you never keep. Keep promises, never made. Love, laugh, drink and be merry...but designate a driver.


Happy New Year.


December 28, 2011

12 days of Christmas... again, I'm sure.

It is not just a song about a partridge in a pear tree. Have you wondered why there are 12 days of Christmas? Christmas is not the twelfth day as many seem to think...but the first. January 6th (my birthday) is the last day of  Christmas or The Feast of Epiphany. It is celebrated as the time the Magi, or wise men, arrived in Bethlehem. I say celebrated...as there is nothing in scripture that says how long the Magi traveled. It does say that the Magi visited Jesus at his house...not the manager where he was born. Seeing the 3 wise men in manager scenes at Christmas has always been a special annoyance to me. Oh, while we're on the subject, nothing in the Bible says there were three wise men, just that they gave three gifts.

December 24, 2011

They're baaaaack

The holidays. How is it, that it's already been another year? Life is moving too fast on a large scale. Even my weeks seem to fly by.

It's Christmas Eve and I am not ready for Christmas. The tree is up and decorated. The gifts are wrapped. The baking is done and delivered, although very unsuccessful. The banana nut bread needs a do over. But I am not emotionally prepared. I am not ready for it to be over. I think I am still secretly, in my heart of hearts, waiting for that moment of shiny brightness called holiday joy, family, peace of earth and good will to men. I hate Hallmark and Hollywood. Truly. There just isn't enough time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's like a two care drive by. I'm still trying to get the license number on the first one when the second one rushes by. Then New Years, quickly followed by my birthday. Bam, bam, bam, bam...and I sit in the street in stunned silence. Glad that it's done but wishing it could have lingered to be savored just a bit more.

I am not complaining. I am not wishing it to be all done and over with. This is the first time I've ever had a job that seemed to recognize the holidays. I have 2 four day weekends. I spent 4 1/2 hours yesterday with 2 great friends. We exchanged goodies, ate lunch and talked...and talked. It was so relaxing. Perfect companionship. When I got home I was surprised by my son and the grand munchkin. Since the grandson would be going out of town we sat down and gave them their presents. It is a great joy to watch a child open presents...even if he wants to eat the wrapping paper and play with the box.

There will be more celebrating today and more tomorrow. We do not believe that everything has to happen on a particular day...it just makes life unnecessarily complicated.

Much to do, as the sky begins to lighten, so if you celebrate Christmas, merry. If you celebrate another feast, happy. If you have chosen a different path, well met. I hope that you find joy and merriment, may your cup runneth over and your harvest be bountiful. May you be surrounded by the people that give you happiness and may you be a blessing to each of them. I wish you smooth seas and the stars to navigate by.

December 14, 2011

like/love

You can like a person without loving them.
You can love a person without liking them.

I have had people in my life in each category. Much, and many more, in the first one. Like is simple and potentially immediate...love takes time. Liking comes and goes, waxes and wanes...love should not, at least not frequently.

I have liked people and later changed my mind as I got to know them...and disliked people to change my mind for the same reason.

I have loved people, but seldom, very seldom, have I quit of loving. As it should be. It is so very strange when you realize that you no longer love someone. That realization occurred to me today, suddenly, without fanfare or sadness. It has been a long time coming.

December 06, 2011

The sunny side

I don't know what happened today. The fog lifted...and there was the sun. And I do not mean that literally as December has arrived shrouded in dreariness. I suddenly feel better. More like me...the me I like. I might have even found a spark of energy. A pep in my step. I wish I knew what happened so I could call it up again when needed. I would like to hold onto this feeling a while. Would be nice. I still have no control over my future but at least I'm not crying in my, um, tequila.

Here's a toast...to finding there is life in life again. Long may she reign.

December 04, 2011

Control

I am feeling out of sorts; physically, mentally, emotionally. Not myself. There is a lot going on. A lot that I am not going to go into...beating a dead horse and all. Then there is Christmas. I am never quite ready for it. It comes too fast. It all just makes me realize how little control I have in my own life. No matter how much thought, planning, effort involved, it really comes down to happenstance. I really hope to feel better soon. I don't like me like this.