Advice

Nurses have stories. They have seen about everything that can be done to a body, voluntarily and involuntarily. Part of my job frequently has me reading Emergency Department (ED), it's no longer ER,  notes. Many of the things I read are scary or sad...a few are nothing short of miracles. But every now and then I come across a tale so far fetched...

These often involve, um, foreign objects. That, would be something that doesn't belong in the human body. And in this particular instance, we'll limit the body to primarily one orifice...give me a break, I'm trying to keep this PG. As far as I've been able to tell, nobody ever walks in to the ED and tells the truth about how this mishap occurred. I often wonder how much time is spent concocting these stories (We also get them for how someone accidentally ingested drugs. And just so you know, nobody believes you passed out and just happened to breathe in the cocaine.)  Stories run the gamut from muggings that involved the placement of mysterious foreign object to all sorts of accidents...hanging curtains naked? Bet the neighbors adore you. Slipped. Fell. Say you can see it happening? The lube on the, um, object gives you away every time.

So here's my advice:

1. Never place an object inside a body cavity that was not specifically designed for the purpose. Any body cavity, including your nose and ears.

2. If you ignore #1, go to the ED, don't waste time making up a plausible ::cough:: story and take your lumps, fess up. You may be a little embarrassed, you were warned, but nobody is ever going to believe that story you're concocting.

Happy? Holidays

I often note that people, including myself at times, have a tendency to backlash when things become too politically correct. I mean sometimes it is just freaking ridicules. I have started taking note of those that grumble over the greeting, "Happy Holidays" a phrase meant to be all inclusive of the winter celebrations, like Season's Greetings. But it seems a good number of people feel their toes are being stepped on. They want to wish you a Merry Christmas...damn it. Did I mention that some of those grumblings include not very Christian like ideas...or words?

Let me explain how I see this...

After all...MY blog!

Wishing a close friend or relative Merry Christmas is just dandy. I assume you know these people well enough to know that they do, indeed, celebrate Christmas. Now, those other, not so well known folks you encounter may not celebrate Christmas. Now come down off your high horse, they are not all heathens...they just have different beliefs than what happens to be a majority in this country. Remember that tiny idea this country was founded on...freedom, including religion? Wishing a Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Wiccan or any number of religions, a Merry Christmas is like wishing everybody else Happy Birthday on YOUR birthday. They aren't celebrating what you are, when you celebrate. We no longer live in small towns or isolated hamlets. It's a big world out there. Embrace differences, learn about people. It does not mean that you have to give up your beliefs...just be aware that the entire world isn't like you.

Personally, you may wish me a Happy Holiday, Merry Christmas, Joyous Yule, Happy New Year, Happy Kwanzaa or Happy Hanukkah, as long as you wish me well, have good intentions and want to celebrate a joyous occasion.

Will there be gifts?

Ageism

I am 48...soon to be 49. 26 days. I have no issue with my age, but it seems others do. It seems there are things I am supposed to be too old for. Like playing dress up. Why is it that I am supposed to outgrow things I love? Somethings you outgrow, their usefulness in your life ceases. Playing with dolls would be a good example for me. Some people play with dolls well into their adulthood...they call them action figures. I just lost interest. I loved coloring books and crayons, sharing them with my sons when they were young. I learned to color inside the lines but never followed the rules...pink skies and purple grass. Small kids take issue when you don't follow the rules. As they grew older and the coloring books and crayons vanished, I "matured" into watercolors and acrylics. Unfortunately, I discovered I didn't do so well without someone else to draw the lines. Paint by numbers didn't capture my heart.

I still find great fun in dressing up, whether for a LARP or a goth club. Both excite my creativity. It is becoming that I am in the minority, age wise, but by no means the only over forty...or even forty-five. I guess it is much like playing with dolls, you give it up when it no longer holds your attention. No longer serves a purpose.

Now days, people seems to be amazed (the nicer of the words I can think of) by how I live my life. I should be settling down...after all, I have a grandson. I suspect I am supposed to be babysitting and baking cookies. Neither of these things have ever been high on my to-do list...well, maybe occasionally baking cookies.

I will continue to pursue those activities that engage my mind and speak to my heart...despite my age. I will play dress up with strange clothes and stranger make-up. I will dance to industrial music. I will run through the woods. I will howl at the moon...when I can find it. And if it makes you uncomfortable...go play with your action figures.

Guilt

Guilt is not one of my better emotions. I don't mean guilt, because I did something wrong, I mean guilt as in someone trying to manipulate me. I have had an over abundance of guilt, it was standard operating procedure for my Mom. She never seemed to figure out that it did not work on me...and often had negative consequences.

Tonight, a cousin...that I have had little contact with, by my choice, decided to post on my Facebook wall something to the effect of, It wouldn't kill you to call me or your Aunt (her Mom and my mother's sister), we are family you know. I deleted her from my friends and blocked her account.

Drastic? Perhaps.

Regrets? None.

I had accepted her friend request reluctantly...we have never been friends. She'll never know how lucky she was. I acted quickly and decisively...I could have posted back instead. Words are something I am very, very good at. I could have told her what I thought of her suggestion. I took the higher road. I grew up in that toxic environment. I am an adult now and will pick who I share my life with.

I did not book passage on your guilt trip. I'll just stand here and watch you sail away...to hell.

Nothing lost.