Deep thoughts (not really)

I can be a little inconsistent in my personality. I am the silver lining kind of person on the inside, while being the dark person on the outside. People seem to be somewhat surprised by this fact. They make assumptions. Yes, I like dark things. I have a crystal skull as part of my home's decor...year round. Along with a gargoyle, or two, and a dragon. I like sharp pointy things and whips and chains excite me. There are also a fair number of angels, appreciated for their beauty instead of any deep religious commitment. I also have a Gautama Buddha on my dining room table. I appreciate those things that speak to some part of me, no matter their origin or intended meaning or use. I like what I like. I like goth style. I like gamers and geeks. I like tattoos and piercings. I like people that aren't afraid to be different...to search for themselves. On the other hand, I hate constant negativity. Woe is thee. Everyone has bad times...or if not, I'd like to know the secret outside of being totally oblivious. (I've met a few) But some people seem to hold their pain to themselves. They don't seem to be able to move forward...perhaps they think it is safer to stand still even if they are miserable. But I lose focus. Yes, we all suffer. We all have bad things happen. Somethings can not be avoided and somethings must be suffered. But when it comes to daily living, I prefer to see the silver lining. When stuck in traffic, I turn on a favored CD and sip my coffee or open the moon roof and enjoy the sun...getting angry will not move the traffic. Silver lining: I have a little more time to myself. Of course it helps that I am salaried and can not be late for work. I am a realist not an idiot. When I started blogging I promised myself that it would not be a rant about how much daily life sucked and all the things that got me down. But since writing is self therapy, I often need to address those things that irritate me...but instead of bitching, whining and moaning, I approach them with humor. I am a natural born smart-ass. I'll admit it. Actually, I cherish that part of my personality. It is amazing what you can say, as long as you're smiling. So I am complex...like everyone else. People say I am weird, odd, unusual. Maybe because I will say what others will only think. Or, more likely, because I will say what they are afraid to think. They will ask what fun things I've done...but they would never do them. Why not? Are they afraid of being judged as they judge me? Is it so horrible to be different? I prefer to be strange than stagnant.