Today in history

Today, the Supreme Court voted to legalize same sex marriage. This has been a long fought battle, for many people, on both sides. My Facebook feed is full of celebration. That is the type of friends I have. Open minds, open hearts. On the inverse, I know there are people whose Facebook feed is full of hatred and anger over the decision. I truly feel sorry for people that would begrudge another human being love. A friend said that he hoped one day they would see the light. 

Unfortunately narrow minds do not let light in. 





#marriageequality
#lovewins

Emotions, part II

Sometimes, after I write something, I keep thinking about it. Like it isn't finished. Usually, when I write, I move on...self therapy. So, I asked myself, what was left out?

I realized there is one emotion that I hang onto. Anger. I am good at anger. Anger makes me look at myself and others. It makes me learn. And I keep a tiny piece of it with me, so that I do not forget what I learned.

Emotions

Some people hold tightly to their emotions. Some people hold tightly to their emotions. No, I have not had a stroke. I am not repeating myself.

Some people, hold their emotions tight, like a lover. They hold it close. They almost seem to nourish it. Feeding the flames of their pain, anxiety, fear. I am not that type of person, so I do not understand.

Some people, hold their emotions tight, like a prisoner. I prefer them at a distance. I try to avoid letting them control me. I have said before, depression is a deep, deep, well and it is hard as hell to climb out of. I just don't go there. I feel pain. I feel anxiety. I feel fear. But I limit the amount of time and energy that I spend on them. I distract myself. I make myself do something else. I know a lot of people do not understand, but I have to do what is best for my mental health. I guess they understand me, no better than I do them.

I recently came across this...

I am not perfect, but I am trying to spend more time at peace.

My summer project

I made the decision, earlier this year, to pursue my CCDW license. That is, concealed carry deadly weapon. The world is becoming a scarier place all the time. Drugs are running rampant and people will do crazy things when they are hurting for a fix. I have been told that I do not look like an easy target. But I have seen young men looking me up and down, and I don't believe it's because they are admiring me. So far, they have judged me either not vulnerable, or not worth the trouble. The older I get, the more likely they will begin to think I am an easy opportunity. I hope to prove them wrong. Yesterday, I took the 8 hour mandatory class for Kentucky. Parts were interesting. Parts were downright tedious...videos on legislation. But, need to know info. There is a 25 question, multiple choice, written test. I scored a 100. Then you have to qualify by shooting. You must hit 11 out 20 shots, in the silhouette, at 21 feet. That is my qualifying target on the left. (The arm tears are from staples). The class was given by two former police women. One of them taught shooting to police officers. The other shot competitively. They were knowledgeable and helpful in their suggestions. While shooting, the instructor was one-on-one with me, so she was able to give feedback. I lean back when shooting, instead of a forward, aggressive, stance. I am also anticipating the shot and jerking the trigger, rather than a smooth follow through. She explained that is why some of my shots go low. I thought better than explaining that I was required, by my very nature to include a couple of groin shots. She was also able to confirm my theory. She stated, that at least once, I did indeed, hit the same hole twice. It explains why I shot 24 rounds, and there are 22 holes. My shooting is not to the standard I would like it to be. But I think Mr Target Man is very, very dead.

Better ways--funerals

A friend just lost a family member. I have always hated that euphemism. But there it is. I have always hated hearing, I'm sorry, in response, as well. But sometimes, there just isn't anything else to say. Anyway, this has me thinking about when my father-in-law died. 1982. It has been so long ago and so much has changed in the way funerals are done. Thank God. I am sure there are places and people that do it the old way, how horrible. We sat for 3 days at the funeral home. Three days of viewings. Three days of condolences. Three days of awkwardness. Three days with limited sleep, emotional overload and bad food. You sat, paced, then sat some more. It was exhausting. I don't know when we moved away from that torture. I'm guessing it probably became too expensive. As opposed to someone having good common sense. As you might guess, I'm glad that tradition evolved.