Sure. Is. Dark.

It is highly unusual when I can not find the silver lining. It might be so tiny that it is damn near imaginary, but I'll come up with something. I am searching for a glimmer on the horizon. Don't know enough to know how to feel, but I am waffling between optimistic and terrified. I plan. I unplan. I can't move forward...and we can never move back, not really. I am on hold. A standstill.

Stalemate.

More information soon. I don't know if it will help or make things worse. Knowing can be worse. Like going back, you can not unknow. But with more knowledge, I will know where I am headed, I hope. Uphill or downhill. There is no lateral option. Even the best possible outcome, will not be good. It will be the best of the worst. I see a very long, difficult road ahead. I guess that is better than a short difficult road, in this situation.

Checkmate.