Merry Christmas to me.

I bought myself a new camera today. Ordered it anyway. It was a splurge, and more than I had hoped to spend. At least it was on sale, so $80 less than it would have been...and way outside of my splurge comfort zone. I have always had a fondness for cameras. I have an old Nikon, you know, the antique kind that take film. I had lenses for it that I could read a license plate from a block away...a very long block.

I bought my first digital camera about 6-7 years ago. It's been a good camera, even at a measly 5 megapixels (less than the camera on my phone) and 4x zoom. What amazes me, is the camera can still be purchased, at $699! I assure you, I paid nowhere near that for it. I think I paid for it new, only a bit more than it costs now, used. I have seldom bought anything that has held it's value as well.

So why did I finally update?



Lack of zoom, for catching close ups, usually in nature and the moon. I think I could pour salt on a dark surface and it would look the same as my current full moon photos. The new camera has a whopping 30x optical  and 4x digital zoom. One reviewer said it could capture the craters on the moon. I won't be looking for aliens with my camera, but at least the moon will be identifiable.

Lack of megapixels, I am guessing, is why, when I crop photos, they look grainy and I get a warning when I try to print them. I am hoping 16 megapixels will make that better.

So I'll have a new toy to play with. I love learning how to with something new.

Yes, I am old and fat

I had a dream last night that I was standing, with a friend, at a beach bar in Mexico. The beginning of what would seem to be a happy dream. Except there were these 20-something mean girls there, doing what they do best. They were staring at us, laughing. I asked what the hell they thought was so funny. One of them piped up and volunteered that I was old and fat. I don't remember much else of the dream, only being angry, mostly, because I feared she had hurt my friend's feelings.

I woke this morning, still being haunted by that anger. I hate waking with emotional leftovers...not the first time. Yes, I am old, or at least older than a 20-something, or a 30 or 40-something, for that fact. And, yes, I am fat. I carry more weight than I'd like, but no amount of ridicule from myself, or others, will make me anymore svelte. I just really dislike hateful, mean, people.

Yes, I am old and fat. I have been very fortunate and lived a great life. I have been surrounded by friends that frequently invite me to their tables, for food, wine and laughter. I have partied with the best of them, and lived to tell about it. I have been married a long time, to one man, that would give me anything, within his means, to see me happy. And sometimes, that's just a Reese's Cup, but he knows it will make me smile. And smile I will, that I crossed his mind at some weird, random moment...even when I've told him I am trying to watch what I eat. So, go ahead and snicker, if you're really lucky you'll live half the life I have...else wise, you can die young and leave a good looking corpse. I'd rather be old and fat.

Freedom

I often hear people defending their freedoms. Freedom of speech and the right to bear arms, usually being the most common. I also hear people ask, what about our freedom, frequently when they don't like something. People complain about laws impinging on their freedoms...mandatory healthcare, seat belts, helmets. As a nation we have been promised freedoms that other countries do not enjoy, but there is no such thing as complete and total freedom. If everyone had the freedom to do whatever they wanted, we would live in total chaos. Not even taking it to extremes, I am not talking murder here. What if you planted a tree and a few years down the road, your neighbor chops it down because it shaded his garden or his pool. You have the right to plant a tree in your yard. But what about your neighbor's rights to grow his own food or dislike of ice cold pool water? I know you are thinking, dude can't come in my yard and chop my tree down! And you are right...but something you have done, has effected the quality of life of another person. So your tree is still standing. Along comes Autumn, and your tree starts shedding all over the place. Leaves everywhere! The neighbor on the other side of you, has no trees. Why? Because he hates to rake leaves. Maybe he likes to hunt, and raking leaves takes away time from this. But your leaves don't recognize boundaries, they just blow

all over the place willy-nilly. And I bet you don't go over there and get them. So he's left raking your, and everyone else's, leaves from his yard...and paying to have the trash company haul them away, because he can't dump them in your yard, even though you made the decision to plant a tree. Every freedom has limits, usually to prevent harm to others. You have the freedom to speak your mind, but not if it defames another. You have the right to bear arms, but we don't walk around packing, like it's the wild, wild west. The document we like to wave around was written some 220 plus years ago. Our forefathers could not even imagine such things as motorized transport, open heart surgery or guns that shot multiple rounds. They set down for us a general guideline of freedoms that had been denied them. There are still places in the world where saying you don't like the government is grounds for execution and freedom to worship is denied completely. Though that is a pet peeve of mine, for another time. There are countries where owning a gun is illegal. Anyway, my point is, we do need to defend our rights and there are those that would govern them away from us, one little tiny chip at a time but you can not scream, "What about my rights?" every time shade falls across your garden. It's sort of like crying wolf, after a while it falls on deaf ears. But then, I guess you have the freedom of speech to complain all you want.

Pepper

Even though I was only 8 when my grandfather died, he held a very influential place in my life. I have several very vivid memories of him that I have shared with my husband. I discovered this morning, that my husband has been listening over the years. This morning, he commented that a diner behind me must be the reincarnation of my grandfather. He then explained that the man probably could no longer see his food, for the pepper. Yes, my grandfather liked his pepper. That particular memory involves a plate of great northern beans, a touch of vinegar and then coated in a layer of black pepper. How wonderful that my husband shares my memories, even if he didn't know the man.