Happy birthday

We all have them. Some of us lie about them. Some of us celebrate them. There are lots of way to celebrate. Some do it quietly. Some throw outrageous parties. Some have amazing friends...but that's a different story.

There is one tradition in the whole birthday celebrating thing that bothers me. It is one of those things that most people don't seem to think about. Blowing out the candles...on the cake. Usually that entails blowing all over the cake. I am not sure I like the idea of someone blowing across my food. Yes, I know it's weird and it should not be a big deal. But what it the birthday celebrant is coming down with something? A little cold with your cake? Or worse, when it's a child blowing out all those candles, because I dislike someone else's spit on my food even more.

Another one for the gross file. You're welcome.

Writing

I used to make an entry almost daily. I would sit and purposely think about subjects. It bothers me when I realize weeks have gone by without writing. I wonder if I write more or less when life is good, bad or indifferent. I think about writing all the time. I compose in my mind, but always when my computer is not readily available. Then, later, it is forgotten. Maybe that is when, or why, I don't write...when life is busy or I am distracted. I really do need to be more committed. Writing makes me happy. It helps me focus. I even occasionally amuse myself.

What you see

I can't speak for every woman over 50...

or over 40, for that fact.

I can only speak for myself, but I bet a lot of those women would agree with me.

What you see is totally different than how I feel.

You see where I am soft. You see a shape, that is out of shape. You see where I am slower. You see the lines on my face. You see me and think old.

I still feel desire. I still feel vibrant. I still feel alive.
I still want to party. I still want to celebrate. I still want to be loved.
I think I can keep up. I think I can participate. I think I can achieve.
I have not mellowed. I have not given up. I have not disappeared.

I am not always happy with what I see in the mirror. But in my head, I still have possibilities.

Don't dismiss me. I might surprise you.