Deep thoughts (not really)

I can be a little inconsistent in my personality. I am the silver lining kind of person on the inside, while being the dark person on the outside. People seem to be somewhat surprised by this fact. They make assumptions. Yes, I like dark things. I have a crystal skull as part of my home's decor...year round. Along with a gargoyle, or two, and a dragon. I like sharp pointy things and whips and chains excite me. There are also a fair number of angels, appreciated for their beauty instead of any deep religious commitment. I also have a Gautama Buddha on my dining room table. I appreciate those things that speak to some part of me, no matter their origin or intended meaning or use. I like what I like. I like goth style. I like gamers and geeks. I like tattoos and piercings. I like people that aren't afraid to be different...to search for themselves. On the other hand, I hate constant negativity. Woe is thee. Everyone has bad times...or if not, I'd like to know the secret outside of being totally oblivious. (I've met a few) But some people seem to hold their pain to themselves. They don't seem to be able to move forward...perhaps they think it is safer to stand still even if they are miserable. But I lose focus. Yes, we all suffer. We all have bad things happen. Somethings can not be avoided and somethings must be suffered. But when it comes to daily living, I prefer to see the silver lining. When stuck in traffic, I turn on a favored CD and sip my coffee or open the moon roof and enjoy the sun...getting angry will not move the traffic. Silver lining: I have a little more time to myself. Of course it helps that I am salaried and can not be late for work. I am a realist not an idiot. When I started blogging I promised myself that it would not be a rant about how much daily life sucked and all the things that got me down. But since writing is self therapy, I often need to address those things that irritate me...but instead of bitching, whining and moaning, I approach them with humor. I am a natural born smart-ass. I'll admit it. Actually, I cherish that part of my personality. It is amazing what you can say, as long as you're smiling. So I am complex...like everyone else. People say I am weird, odd, unusual. Maybe because I will say what others will only think. Or, more likely, because I will say what they are afraid to think. They will ask what fun things I've done...but they would never do them. Why not? Are they afraid of being judged as they judge me? Is it so horrible to be different? I prefer to be strange than stagnant.

Happy Boxing Day, eh

It's Boxing Day in Canada...in case you didn't know. I am all for one more reason to celebrate! So I sit here in the glow of my Christmas tree, in warm pajamas with a steaming mug of coffee, and raise a toast to our northern neighbors.  


Christmas 2009 in now in the history books. I was undoubtedly one of the longest, single day, Christmas celebrations I have ever enjoyed. From our morning gift exchange to dinner with friends. When I walked in late last night, I was exhausted...but in that pleasant, it's been a good day, kind of way.  


Contentment...feels good.

Cheers to old traditions...and new

There are many things we do every year to celebrate Christmas. The lights, tree, gifts, wrapping paper and bows. A few make occasional appearances...like eggnog. This year we are adding something new. We are going to have a brunch with our nonbiological family...the people we choose to celebrate with. I actually hesitated to give up my Christmas spent at home wearing my jammies all day. It's how we've done Christmas since the kids were small, as I refused to drag them all over town on Christmas day. But times change. The kids are grown...and slowly making lives of their own. I hope we will forever spend some part of our Christmas day together as we did this morning. But I never want to find myself sitting home alone on Christmas day. I hope there will always be doors open to me and someone that wishes to share my time. So now, I look forward to spending an afternoon with friends. Merry Christmas

Tis the season...

of syrupy sweet holiday commercials that remind me that I am a failure at life. Thanks Hallmark.

Ἀποκάλυψις

It occurred  to me, for whatever reason, that apocalypse and apostle seemed to have the same root word. This, of course, sent me on a search. As I frequently do, I discovered that my understanding of a word's meaning was inaccurate. 


Apocalypse is a Greek term applied to the disclosure to certain privileged persons of something hidden from the majority of humankind. Today the term is often used to refer to Armageddon, or the end of the world. (Wikipedia). 


So my understanding of the word has more to do with it's usage than actual meaning. It is easy to see the correlation between the two words when apocalypse is defined. The apostles, according to the Bible stories I remember, were privileged people of which information was disclosed...I have to wonder about the something hidden from the majority of mankind. 


But then, I've designed the puzzle, made up all the rules and drawn my own conclusions. Is my logic illogical?

Hearing voices

We all talk to ourselves inside our heads. At least I think we do. I have an announcer inside my head that makes random commentary. I have a hard time identifying this voice as talking to myself as it frequently says things that are just utterly bizarre. Today's example...  


As I drove around a curve on I65 this morning I was greeted with a sea of brake lights. My announcer voice comments, "I65 north is lit up like a Christmas tree at a whore house."  


I don't know who that is living inside my head, but I like them.

Life

I'm not really in the mood to write but sometimes things just come up that need to be noted. Life is so weird and interconnected and complicated. Both ends meet in the middle. I wonder how the hell we got here from there. I know, it's all confusing and not making sense. That's because I can't write about my subject matter. You know...people, are involved and other people don't need to know who's involved and the people involved don't need to know what I'm thinking about. Perfectly clear...right? And by the way, if you are reading this and wonder if you are involved...most likely not. The situation is history and removed from me by several degrees. Once again, I know things I wished I didn't...and you can never un-know something. Or maybe I can, since I wondered if I had known this before. It's not even important. I just wonder how it came to be.