Who, what, when and where

A recent conversation got me to thinking about the "in crowd" also known as the "popular kids". I don't think I have ever fit into either of these categories as I have never seen fit to conform to other people's ideas of who or what I should be. Changing just to fit in seems a high price to pay to me. This often left me feeling like the outsider, always looking in. There was a time, in high school, that bothered me...as we all want nothing more than to belong at that age. But even then, I never found a group of people that made me feel at home. I wasn't a jock, cheerleader, band, preppy, geek, stoner or brain.

This leads me to a more recent line of thinking. How much we make decisions about WHO we are and how much is just... happenstance. Did you make a decision about what you do for a living or did you just wind up there? I went to college to be a Physical Therapist, only to discover I'd have to "go away" to obtain the degree. Being the mom of two small children, that wasn't very feasible. So I changed my destination to Nursing. I worked as a bedside nurse for five years, quickly discovering that I hated it. So now I work in a position that requires the nursing degree but that I had never heard of, didn't even know it existed, until about two years before I applied. I am sure this is not an unusual story. Life happens. It isn't a long straight road, for most of us we're lucky if we have a clue what is around the next bend. How many of us live and die in the same state, if not community, that we were born in? Is it choice, or are the roots too deep before we notice? Religion is a big one for me. I believe most people worship the same as their parents, spouse or the prevalence of their community. My Mother swore that I was Catholic, even though outside of weddings or funerals I've not been to mass in over 30 years. She maintained I was Catholic because I was baptized that way...something, mind you, that occurred when I was an infant with absolutely no say. I think some people have given more thought to their diet choices and fashion sense than they have the vehicle, if you believe, that conveys eternity. That doesn't make good sense to me. I hold in high regard people that make informed, conscientious choices about their lives.

I also wonder how often we take things we've been told as truth...without ever really investigating them. We just believe because somebody said so. I wonder how many untruths I unknowingly hold to be true. How am I supposed to know?

I wonder a lot.