Cancun...in the future

We, five of us, booked a trip to Cancun last night. All inclusive, 4 stars, on the beach...in 4 months. I love anticipation. It is always nice to have something to look forward to...especially after the holiday rush fades and winter sets in. Sunshine, turquoise sea, white sand...icy cold drinks.

Riu Palace Las Americas

Can I start packing?

Recreating life

I have found my thoughts and opinions on many subjects have changed over the years...experience, age, wisdom? I don't know. One of those things I become painfully aware of this time of year. Like a lot of grown ups, and in my case I use the term loosely, I hate the holidays. Or more accurately, I guess I should say, I was beginning to hate the holidays. Life seems to have that effect. We lose loved ones, traditions fade, and the holidays are never the same. But thanks to some wonderful friends, that feeling is fading somewhat. We have started celebrating non-biological family holidays (why do you not change the y to i and add es on holidays?). The family you chose. We started with Christmas, and expanded to Thanksgiving this year. There are no petty squabbles, one-up-manship, sibling rivalries (though siblings are involved) none of the crap frequently encountered at family holidays. Nine of us sat around the dinner table last night, we enjoyed wonderful food and good conversation and easy companionship. I laughed until it hurt, literally. What a wonderful feeling. I am so glad they like my company and chose me as family. Next up Christmas. In the works...family vacation next Spring.

That place

I find myself in that place I try so hard to avoid. I don't know how I got here, or why. It is familiar. I have been here before. Familiarity does not make it easier. Actually, it makes it more frightening. I know. I have a knowledge of events to come...the possibilities. The darkness. I am trying to dig my nails in, to stop slipping downward. Life isn't cooperating with the plan. So tired. Makes it hard to fight. But giving in is not my style, not an option. I do not go quietly. There is no good night. I have to stay close to the light. It's too hard when the light dims. Can't find yourself there.